Diamond Mousers · The Seventh Litter

I · The Legend

Every great house
begins with a story.

Ours begins in Diamond City, and no, we did not invent it. It sits in the short-grass country just north of Lethbridge, Alberta: a town that took its name from the diamonds it hauled out of the dark. Black ones. The miners’ kind. The kind that heated half a province. Where there is coal there are stores, where there are stores there are mice, and where there are mice, if a town is very lucky, there are cats equal to the assignment.

The cats of Diamond City did not ask for wages. They asked for a windowsill facing east and the dignity of an unbothered evening. In exchange, so the story goes, they kept the granaries spotless and the ledgers honest, and the merchants, who trusted nothing they could not bite, trusted them completely. A mouser of that country was said to hear a whisker’s worth of trouble through a foot of oak.

“You can dig a diamond out of the ground. The better ones walk up and sit on you.”

Whether every word survives the retelling, no one alive will swear. Stories are like that. But temperament survives. Manners survive. The white gloves survive. The four kittens on this page were raised under our roof in that same country: underfoot and unhurried, handled daily, spoken to constantly, introduced to the vacuum cleaner as an equal.

We call them Diamond Mousers. Spend a minute with the four of them below, and you will call them that too.

“Diamond Mouser” is the private designation of our house: a mark of upbringing, temperament and provenance, not a breed registry. The legend is told the way all good prairie stories are told. Diamond City, Alberta, however, is entirely real, and so are the kittens.

II · The Standard

Raised the hard way,
which is to say, properly.

A Diamond Mouser is not found. It is made: slowly, underfoot, one deliberate week at a time.

Raised Underfoot

Born in a bedroom, not a barn. Handled every day since their eyes opened, and carried through the household like small heirs surveying the estate. Doorbells, dishwashers, dinner guests: acquaintances, all. Litter habits, immaculate. Opinions, forming.

The Veterinary Course

Before homecoming, each kitten completes a full first course of care: examination, age-appropriate first vaccinations, and deworming, all recorded in a travelling health record that leaves with the kitten. We would no sooner send one off unpapered than unnamed.

III

The Temperament Trials

Each candidate is assessed in the disciplines of the house: sunbeam appreciation, plush-quarry pursuit, lap endurance, guest reception. Scores are sealed in the family record. All four passed with distinction. One of them, frankly, is showing off.

III · The Four

Litter № VII.
Four stones, four cuts.

Same line, same standard, four entirely different opinions about how a household ought to be run. Read carefully. The petition will ask whom you favor, and the house notices when someone chooses for the wrong reasons.

Placed

Blaze, a bold-banded tabby kitten mid-step, one white-gloved paw raised, advancing toward the camera

Plate I · Blaze, mid-arrival

Accepting petitions

Ignatius Rough-Cut,
the One Who Arrives

called “Blaze” · he

The FirecrackerSlate-blue eyesBold-banded tabby, white boots

Blaze does not walk anywhere; he arrives. First out of the basket since his eyes opened, he plays the way prairie storms roll in: suddenly, gloriously, and with total commitment. Toys are apprehended mid-air. Hallways are crossed at speeds the house declines to publish. And when the engine finally cools each night, it cools on the warmest available human.

The name stuck at three weeks old, the day he scaled out of the whelping box and made it halfway down the hall before anyone noticed he was missing. He has been about three weeks ahead of the rest of the litter ever since, first to the food bowl, first to the window, first to decide a cardboard box is now a fort. Nobody has told him otherwise, and nobody plans to.

TemperamentGleeful mayhem, expertly timed.
Toy-mouse recordCaught it before it landed. Twice.
A typical eveningZero to sixty, several times over, then asleep mid-sentence on the nearest chest.
Gets along withAnyone who can keep up, or who has learned to sit very still.
Best suited toA household that enjoys a show.

Petition for Blaze

Placed

Bear, a generously built classic tabby kitten seated upright, ears forward, meeting the camera directly

Plate II · The Baron, at rest (his preferred state)

Accepting petitions

Balthazar Karat,
Baron of the Deep Cushion

called “Bear” · he

The BaronSlate-blue eyesClassic tabby, white cravat & cuffs

Bear does nothing quickly and nothing halfway. Built along generous lines and entirely at peace with it, he moves through the day like furniture that has learned to purr: sunbeam to cushion to lap, each stop given its full due. He is not lazy, he would insist; he is efficient. Why chase the toy now, when it will still be there after the nap?

He was the biggest kitten in the litter by week two and has treated it ever since as a kind of promotion. Bear selects one good cushion per room, tests it thoroughly, and defends it with the quiet confidence of someone who has never once been asked to move. Visitors are welcome to sit nearby. Sharing the cushion itself is a longer conversation.

TemperamentUnhurried. Immovable once settled.
Toy-mouse recordWatched it roll past with sincere interest.
A typical eveningEight hours in one position, with one eye opening periodically to confirm dinner is still on schedule.
Gets along withEveryone. Bear has no enemies, only competing nap surfaces.
Best suited toA household with excellent seating.

Petition for Bear

Placed

Duke, a marble tabby kitten with white gloves, seated squarely, meeting the camera with a level look

Plate III · Duke receives the morning

Accepting petitions

Reginald Brilliant-Cut,
Keeper of the Front Hall

called “Duke” · he

The GreeterSlate-blue eyesMarble tabby, white gloves & jabot

Duke is the diplomat of the four: quick on his feet, generous with his welcomes, and privately certain that every arrival at the door has come to see him. He is usually right. Fast enough to win the morning chase, sociable enough to end it early for company, he is the kitten for a household that likes its charm punctual and its greetings in person.

He appointed himself the household greeter sometime around week four, and no one has had the heart to relieve him of the post. He meets the mail carrier, the vacuum cleaner, and total strangers with the exact same open confidence, on the working theory that everyone showed up specifically to see him. So far, the theory has held.

TemperamentFriendly first, fast second, both convincingly.
Toy-mouse recordClean catch on the second bounce.
A typical eveningFront-hall duty until the last guest leaves, then two minutes of very serious napping to recover.
Gets along withDogs, toddlers, skeptics. Wins them all over within the hour.
Best suited toA household with guests worth greeting.

Petition for Duke

Placed

Onyx, a soft-shaded tabby kitten seated with tail curled close, watching with quiet attention

Plate IV · Onyx, between patrols

Accepting petitions

Percival Black-Facet,
the Night Patrol

called “Onyx” · he

The WildcardSlate-blue eyesSoft-shaded tabby, white bib

Onyx keeps perfectly sensible hours, right up until he does not. By day he is composed and observant, a model citizen of the windowsill. Then the evening patrol begins: a thundering circuit of the household, executed with immense seriousness, after which he returns to your side as though nothing happened at all. Every good house needs one member with a touch of theatre. He has volunteered.

He spends his days so quietly that guests sometimes forget he is in the room, which is exactly how he prefers it. Then the sun goes down and something flips: sudden laps of the house at a dead sprint, imaginary opponents dispatched with great seriousness, before he strolls back to your side looking entirely unbothered, as if nothing at all had just happened.

TemperamentComposed, with scheduled exceptions.
Toy-mouse recordErratic pursuit line. Flawless result.
A typical eveningCalm as anything until roughly 9pm sharp. Then absolutely not.
Gets along withAnyone willing to let him keep a little mystery.
Best suited toA household that appreciates a little theatre.

Petition for Onyx

IV · The Archive

Photographs from
around the house.

Four kittens tumbling together on the hardwood, one flat on its back — The full litter, in committee

A kitten resting with paws crossed at the edge of a cushion, audience concluded — Audience concluded

A Diamond Mouser kitten walking the east corridor on hardwood, white paws forward — Morning patrol, east corridor

Duke seated on the floor, composed, watching the room — Duke, receiving callers

A kitten mid-lunge across the hardwood, front paws stretched forward — Full pursuit, hallway conditions

A kitten sitting upright on cream linen for a formal portrait — Sitting for the house portrait

Bear seated upright, ears forward, meeting the camera directly — Bear, holding court

A kitten flat on its back on the blanket, all four paws in the air — Ambush, mid-negotiation

A kitten advancing directly toward the camera, low angle, tail raised — Advancing, low angle

Onyx seated on a soft surface, tail curled close, watching from the side — Onyx, keeping the peace

A kitten lying on its side on the carpet, reaching forward with one paw — A somersault, technically executed

A kitten with head tilted, considering the viewer — The head-tilt that closed three negotiations

Blaze mid-step, one white-gloved paw raised, advancing toward the camera — Blaze, main character energy

V · The Dowry

No Mouser leaves
empty-pawed.

Each placement departs Diamond City with the full dowry of the house, prepared, papered, and packed before you arrive.

№ 01

The Certificate of Provenance

Hand-numbered, one of four and never more, signed by the house. It records the official name, the litter, and the line. Frame it. They would.

№ 02

The First Veterinary Course

Examination, age-appropriate first vaccinations, and deworming, all completed before homecoming. The travelling health record continues at your own clinic.

№ 03

A Bespoke Collar

Velvet, fitted, the buckle engraved with the call name. The first of many in a long life, but the only one they will be carried home in.

The named bed, handwoven and personalized

№ 04

The Named Throne

A handwoven bed bearing their name, with room to grow into. The rest of your furniture is shared territory. This is sovereign ground, and every Mouser knows it on sight.

№ 05

The Diamond Standard, in Print

A dossier of the house: rations and routines, likes and grievances, the socialization diary, and the legend in full, so the story travels with them.

VI · The Placement Fee

^$1,450

per placement · four exist · none are discounted

We are aware you can acquire a kitten for the price of a pizza. We have met those kittens; some of our dearest friends are those kittens. But you are not shopping for a kitten. You are petitioning for twelve deliberate weeks of raising, a veterinary course already completed, a temperament vouched for in writing, and a small companion whose first instinct in a thunderstorm is to sit closer to you. The fee is not for the cat. The fee is for everything the cat will never have to unlearn.

A deposit is requested only upon acceptance · Unsuccessful petitions owe nothing

Homecoming

The 29th of July draws near.

4 of four placements remain. When they are gone, this page comes down.

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Days

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Hours

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Minutes

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Seconds

VIII · Questions, Asked Politely

Before you petition.

Why $1,450? ✦

Because the alternative is a kitten someone was eager to be rid of. The fee carries the first veterinary course, the dowry in full, and twelve weeks of deliberate raising, the kind of socialization you cannot retrofit at any price. We did not price them to move; we priced them to matter. What you are buying, in the end, is a start you never have to repair.

Are Diamond Mousers a registered breed? ✦

No, and we would squint at anyone selling you a “registered” barn aristocrat. Diamond Mouser is the designation of our house: shorthairs of impeccable domestic line, raised in Diamond City to a written standard. The pedigree here is the raising, the record, and the temperament, all of which leave with the kitten, in writing.

May we meet them before deciding? ✦

Accepted petitioners are invited to a viewing at the house, a private residence in Diamond City near Lethbridge, by appointment. The kittens receive visitors between naps. The naps are non-negotiable.

We are nowhere near Lethbridge. Are we out of luck? ✦

Not remotely. Should interest warrant it, we will arrange a delivery day to Calgary; note your interest in the petition and you will be counted. Farther afield (Vancouver, Edmonton, Ontario and beyond) transport can be organized at cost, with every provision made for a calm and dignified journey. A Diamond Mouser has never once arrived flustered.

What if my petition is declined? ✦

Politely, promptly, and with our thanks. It is nearly always a matter of timing or fit, never of worth. Four placements is a cruel arithmetic. We did not invent scarcity; we merely respect it.

When do they come home? ✦

On or after the 29th of July, Homecoming Day. Each departs with the full dowry, the travelling health record, and the good wishes of the entire house. Photographs of them thriving are always welcome, though never demanded.

◆

Four kittens. Four households. One brief window.

Begin the Petition

Some diamonds purr.

Every great house
begins with a story.